Welcome To the Blurb

We at The Weekly Blurb believe that every film, no matter how good or bad, deserves a great blurb - a nice, punchy, positive bit of praise that can be pulled out here and pasted in your movie's advertising.

And the Blurb is free - help yourself to any quote and use it any way you choose. You can even pull a blurb for a different movie and use it in yours. You'd do it if you could anyway, so why not do it here.

Why do we do what we do? We don't know. Maybe it's some desperate need for attention, a strange compulsion to see our words in print. We're not sure. We're trying to figure it out. All we know is that if you have a movie, we want to be Your Dependable Hollywood Quote Whore.

About Mal

Mal Valour (Pronounced "val-OOR")  embarked on his legendary career as movie reviewer for the Chicagoland Weekly Shopper News "On the Town" section.  Gaining notoriety for his upbeat style, Mal became a star on the syndicated 30-Second Movie Minute radio spot series and as substitute of Milwaukee Cable 6 show Movie Matinee.  After his bitter divorce a light nervous breakdown followed, including a brief jail term, forcing Mal into semi-retirement. But now Mal's back, and better than ever, and ready to deliver the kind of reviews you'll want to read every week! 

Mal lives in Southern California with his Personal Assistant and girlfriend, former shopping network star Debi DeBoni.

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    Where Every Movie Gets a GREAT Review!
    Wednesday
    01Jul

    PUBLIC ENEMIES

    Johnny Depp (above, with gun) shoots his way onto the big screen in "Pubic Enemies"

    Public Enemies Will Massacre You With Quality!

    Director Michael Mann and star Johnny Depp have teamed up to craft a legendary crime movie so well crafted, so relevant to our times, it will without a doubt be considered by at least one person to be one of the best films ever made!

    It's 1930-something.  The nation is ravaged by too much depression and not enough medication.  Tired of being poor, the dashing John Dillinger takes control of his finances and stages a daring streak of bank robberies across this great nation of ours.  Employing the likes of Pretty Face Nelson and Baby Boy Floyd, Dillinger becomes a sort of folk hero, a Bonnie and Clyde only without the Bonnie, until he meets up with French seductress Marion Cotillard, who plays his new girlfriend.  The press package tells me that the film follows the bloody rise of this folk hero, whose story, ultimately, inevitably, and indefatigably, comes to an end. 

    Johnny Depp is poised to steal the Oscar in this once-in-a-lifetime performance. There seems to be no trace of his heavy accent, which has plagued him in such movies as Pirates of the Caribbean. Here, at least in the previews,  Depp delivers a performance so powerful it leaps right off the YouTube page. Christian Bale shines in the role as the relentless FBI agent Melvin Peebles.   Marion Cotillard delivers a performance so seductive and powerful, you may forget that she's really French.

    This is filmmaking at its most compelling, its most raw, its most masterfullest.  And when I eventually see the movie, I have no doubt that I'll declare it the best movie of the year.

     

     

    Thursday
    10Jul

    TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLING

    This Transformers is Go To be The Summer Movie Hit of the Year!

    Shia Le Boeueof (right) faces a very large contraption in Transformers: Revenge of the FallingMichael Bay has done it again, again! And this time, it's bigger, better, louder and more heart-poundinger than ever before! The it that Michael Bay has done again is of course Transformers: Revenge of the Falling, an electrifying, pulse-stopping adrenaline-powered rollercoaster in every way!

    It's been two years since Sam Wickwitty (Shia Le Beoueuf) and his friends the Autobots saved the world from the evil Dispepticons (Hugo Weaving).  Now it's off to college with his tawny girlfriend Mikaela, but not for long - the government needs him to run from fireballs and battle the dread ancient Dispepticon contraption described by the press kit as The Falling.

    Shia Le Bueouef (right) and Megan Fox (holding breast) run from a fireball in "Transformers: revenge of the Falling"Will Shia and his girlfriend be able to save the world again?  It's hard to say, because director Michael Bay brilliantly never lets us know what's actually going on.  with all the running, the yelling the flying cars, explosions, dozens of deep raspy voices, constantly folding and unfolding doohickeys and long, lingering, almost gynecological shots of Megan Fox, you'll be pinned to your seat and scratching your head from start to finish!

    Shia Le Bueouf is electrifying in his best role since Mutt in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, delivering the kind of riveting performance that will keep him getting roles like this for years to come.  The beautiful Megan Fox shows great courage in her attempts to act, and her screen presence will have you and your pulse throbbing from start to finish.  John Turturro rounds out the cast.

    All your favorite Transformers are here, too:  the big one with the deep voice, the one that doesn't talk much and turns into a car, and the other one who's a lot like the first one only slightly smaller. And not to be missed is the funny, irascible, really small robot.  Put them all together and you have the most jaw-dropping, ear-splitting, relentlessly thing-doing adventure of this or any season!  Move over, The Proposal!  This Transformers is Go!